Have you ever noticed how hard it is to make friends? ... don't get me wrong I have friends, great friends. But for some reason I am always feeling like I am alone. That I have burned so many bridges that there is no way of going back to that "old" friendship that I once had. I guess trying to go back to the "old" friendship is the wrong idea right? I need to start new? I feel so stupid calling people, trying to hang out with people. Does anyone feel like that?
I always thought I would have that girlfriend that would just show up and hang out doing NOTHING! That we knew each other so well that we were more like sisters? Come over for coffee in the mornings, would let me know how she is REALLY feeling. If her and her husband are fighting she calls me to talk to, that she is not ashamed she is real,. That she screws up. I feel like every one is competing more or less. For what? To look perfect?
I read blogs and think to myself is it really like that. Sure, we all want to blog about the times we want to remember. I guess that's my answer.
I guess what i am asking for is not reality at all. Or is it? Are we just so consumed with our day to day schedules that we have forgotten to actually....care. Am I making sense? I know how hard it is to get together with people... it always includes money, baby schedules, kid schedules, spouse , work, all the above. I think we can make time for each other.
I have recently started putting myself out there to try and reconnect with people that dearly do miss.... i feel so retarded though. I mean good god, its like dating again. The questions: Well, does she really want to hang out with me? Should I text her? Does she want to come over here or should we go do something? Can i talk about that with her?
I need to put myself out there more. Stop talking myself out of things. Stop making things into what they are not. Right?
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Dr. Seuss
8 comments:
I completely agree with you Kinz. i feel like this everyday!! I think its easier to pretend that life is perfect than let people see you suffer! I like that quote, I would like to be like too...just be me and if people dont like it then they are the ones who dont matter. Love you and love this post! :)
I agree as well. I feel like it's dating too. It's really hard to make friends here in CA and when I do, they always flake out on me. I guess all you can do is try... Good luck! Great quote BTW...
Someone once told me that "Relationships are always in a state of flux." For some reason when she said it, I found it so freeing. Relationships change and shift constantly, which means there is always a possibility of guiding it back to a level of happiness you are comfortable with. Hope is not lost, bridges can be rebuilt and knowing what you know now, you can make it stronger.
Kinz, what a sigh of fresh air. I agree 100% so with that being said will you and Vea go out with Sesi and I? When I say fresh air I mean I feel the same way. Plus we have known each other and each others family's forever. I know I probably sound gay but seriously lets really get together. Email me at xowii1130gmail.com so we can reconnect and be real!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE....:)
Love your guts
Isn't it crazy all the AGREES?! I feel ya woman!
I totally agree! I am probably one of those who never put what bad is happening.. for some reason i feel that people could tear me apart if they knew. I wish and i try all the time to get out there and try to get to know people but have a hard time doing that.. anyway your post was great! good reminder to me.
ummmm, yes. i think that all day everyday!AAAA... always an awkward aiona! cougartown is super lame, but i still watch it sometimes anyway, but i always think, why can't friends and me co-exsist like that?! haha!
K first of all I love your dining room table! So cute! And about this post I totally feel ya!!!! I really need to be more real on my blog but i have started a few times and it just make me feel more depressed.... I just want to think about the good things in life! But as we all know the good come with the bad and it's the bad that makes you appreciate the good ;) My older sis totally has a zillion friends that are there when ever how ever and I thought when I got older it would be the same way! Well it's not! College friends I see every once and awhile and high school friends are long gone! I hate the guessing of do you really want to hang out or is her baby down for a nap maybe we will just go another day..... Ugh! I wish great friends just came naturally to everyone including me ;) vea is adorable I think we should get together and I really mean it!!!! Haha ;)
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